drifter...

i've been drifting along with life for a while now. that's why i haven't been posting for quite some time. i haven't been taking notes on things which happened for the past month coz i'm just too tired... too exhausted to carry on... so i'm drifting along... just following the flow... i don't get excited easily, i feel less emotions... but i get negative vibes from time to time... being a bit self centred, isolating myself for quite a bit... just feel too tired for everything... i'm sure this is no way to live but i like it that way for now... :)

questions

during the past week, i got irritated by soime questions which were quite sarcastic to me. one of my friend asked me things which i think were taunting me. he questioned about the way i cook, the way i eat, the things i eat, and the things i do everyday. pissed me off big time. i mean that's the way i do things, and nobody can say what i do is wrong. there are more than one way to reach the moon... so why question things i do? i don't think the way i do things is wrong... coz i get what i want in the end anyway... it's like someone is questioning the way i do things... the things i do usually... and questions were brought up just because he doesn't do it that way? man this is very unfair... i hope i can get over this pissed off feeling soon... it is not helping me in any way at all!

share?

i don't like to share. i'm not the type of person who can share everything with everybody else. in a way i am self-centred :) no, i don't like to lend and i hate borrowing. maybe those are the traits found in loners eh? :)

that irritates me alot and i feel pretty damn irritated now because of that. i just want my own space, my own privacy, my own stuff. i, me and myself.

the couple who cried

i know, they wouldn't see this post at all. i doubt they know i have this blog. but anyway, this post is for my friend who was crying in the airport last night.

this is my favourite phrase, and i think it suites both of you well. absence makes the heart grow fonder, as long as you believe in each other :) i think both of you should be well more than happy for each other. one persuing his chance of a lifetime (i never get that chance at all, only false hopes) and the other, putting her patience, her will, her everything for that guy to test. quite a nice situation to be in right? :) who knows this turn of event will strengthen their relationship. or maybe this will lead to marriage? nobody knows for sure. but then i think both of you will be fine. i'm not that sure bout the girl (i hardly know her) but i'm sure bout the guy. things will be fine... you always get around well with your tight situations anyway... so no worries... :)

even though i didn't see it with my own eyes (i missed one show of a lifetime!! damn!) but i'm more than sure you cried after checking in!! sometimes it's hard to express our feelings to our parents, but it's easier to express our feelings to the one we 'love' right? :)

anyway, cry or not, i already have the impression that both of you cried through the phone :p i'll like to stick to my impression better than the fact you'll present me later on :p so this is one for you, and your girlfriend. may both of you be well together and apart :)

absence makes the heart grow fonder.

he left...

drizzle, damp, cloudy, windy. yesterday was a nice day for someone to leave :) so he finally left last nite. quite a crowd in the airport... and the crowd wasn't totally strangers. there were quite a number of people i know... no, they weren't there to see me... they were seeing their friends off too.

that made me realize how close everyone of us is connected to one another one way or the other. friend's friends, friend's adversary, adversary's friend, adversary's adversary; any combination one can think of. the world seem so small when all these people gather for the same purpose... including me i guess...

so that was how he left for germany. he is one damn lucky guy i'd say. his friends and family were there for him. oh, not forgetting his girlfriend too. i can't deny the bottled up feelings stuck in my throat last nite. i envy this fella to the max :p but i'm quite contented with my life though. who won't be sad for an age old friend to leave for god-knows how long. on the other hand, i'm very happy he finally is on his way to germany. that means free holidays for me! :p

i guess his parents handled the situation well. i can see his dad was quite understanding even though he complains about his parents a few years back for not letting him do things he wanted to. i think they're okay with his girlfriend. and man i actually saw this awkward situation where his dad, his girlfriend, and he himself was in! :) quite proud to see that! it's not something which i can see everyday!! :p but come to think of it, i think his parents will sure miss him alot. the only son which they controlled for like 18 years have finally left for germany... but i don't think there'll be any parent who will let their children see their sadness :p

so this is one for all at the airport, have a nice journey, enjoy germany, and jangan malukan negara kita ya! :p

christmas, new year and in between

the school holiday season will end very soon. just a few more days and everyone will be rushing back to their usual packed school and tuition schedule. christmas went by a week ago, and new year was just two days ago. both december 25th and january 1st didn't mean anything much to me. it was just another holiday and a long weekend for me.

i wouldn't see december 25th as a happy occasion anymore. not after i've read the da vinci's code. it revealed to me things which i have overlooked during history class!! and i do hope those stuff dan brown wrote about christianity is true! :) i am a racist now! :p and i don't see christian as such a holy religion anymore! lol! but anyway, i'm not really a fan of christ and jesus and the son of god... i'm just a fan of story books! nothing happened during christmas day. just hang out with my friends; not because it was christmas, because it was a holiday! :p

and the new year came not so nice this year. no celebrations (not that i celebrate it anyway), no fireworks (which i enjoy most!), no concerts, no nothing except for the special tv shows aired. and the new year is not an important date to me too! new year resolutions? what for? why put more constraints to my own life? make promises for the new year, do this for the new year, do that, blah blah blah... i don't care. cross the bridge when i come to it. life is already full of constraints and i don't want to add anymore new year resolutions to restrict myself :p

the reason why the new year celebration was so dull is because of the day between christmas and new year. december 26th. it was a bad day to talk about. but it have been the talk of the town until today. something that people will not forget easily i guess. september 11th, august 31st, july 4th, and now december 26th. a day of massacre. some stupid earthquake shook indonesia, and most of it's neighbouring country are affected. tidal waves was the greatest mass killer. the earthquake just did little damage, but the tidal waves took around 150k lives. yea, one hundred and fifty thousand! more than 50 times the death toll of september 11th. it is sad to celebrate the new year with so many deaths around... and victims lost their houses, belongings, relatives, family members... i wonder who would have the mood to celebrate new year...

well, that was a bad ending for the year. hope things will be fine this new year.

13-3-2-21-1-1-8-5

O, Draconian devil!

Oh, lame saint!

:p